


The Simp Cycle

by Basicallymonkey101



Series: Mahiru Koizumi’s Wacky Adventures [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/F, Murder, Super High School Level Secret Besties, simps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basicallymonkey101/pseuds/Basicallymonkey101
Summary: Mahiru goes simp hunting
Series: Mahiru Koizumi’s Wacky Adventures [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889278
Kudos: 3





	The Simp Cycle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Levottomuus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levottomuus/gifts).



Mahiru walked out of the hospital after being treated for murder. After Gonta had snapped her neck in Strawberry Juice (go read that it’s good I promise) she had decided to give up her old ways and become a functioning member of society.

She looked at a newspaper she had materialized because she can do that I guess and read an ad for simp hunting. “Geez, if all these unreliable men can run around on the streets, what kind of world is this?”

Mahiru ran to the simp hunting base, and knocked the secret combo on the door. It went flying open to reveal Tenko Chabashira! Hooray! “Greetings beautiful queen woman! Tenko beloved younger here to catch simps?”

Mahiru nodded, and Tenko blushed. “Golly, hey in the van before I nut!” Mahiru shrugged and stepped into the van, and Tenko got in the driver’s seat. She peeled out of the base and onto the streets. The drove around until they saw Hifumi Yamada sitting on a bench.

“Freeze Degenerate Simp!” Tenko screamed, jumping through the windshield and in front of Hifumi. “Tenko bets you’ve been simping for gothic Lolita princesses, haven’t you?” Hifumi violently shook his head, pointing to a drawing he had. “No, I only hold my sweet Princess Piggles bear and dear to my heart.”

Tenko shuddered, and turned to Mahiru. “It’s worse than Tenko thought. He’s a weeb.” Mahiru reaches down for her handcuffs, when a scream cut her off. She looked out the window to see that the true Hifumi had awakened. 300 pounds of bulging muscles was striking a menacing pose before the Simp hunters. Tenko screamed and jumped into the driver’s seat. The drove away from the perfect form of Hifumi, scared for their lives.

Tenko sighed, relieved she escaped, until she felt the van hit something. Her and Mahiru stepped out of the van, seeing the dead body of Kazuichi under the back wheels. “Oops. Oh well. We execute the simps anyways.” The turned to face thunderous applause, three figures clapping for them.

“Nyeh, way to go Tenko.” Himiko said, and Tenko buster a nut right there because Himiko praised her uwu. Hiyoko stopped clapping, and lightly pulled on Gundham’s coat. “Gunny, isn’t she simping for the mage loli?” Gundham our a hand to his chin in thought, before scowling at Tenko. “It would seem so. The hunter as become the hunted!”

Hiyoko giggled, and pulled out her two person rocket launcher. She grabbed the first trigger, and Gundham grabbed the second. The fired the biggest rocket ever that somehow only hit Tenko, incinerating the girl in a comically large simp-explosion.

Himiko started sobbing at Tenko’s grabe which was always there, and Hiyoko and Gundham danced around her corpse because they saved the day. Mahiru groaned, and looked at the piss bar. She needed a drink.

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone reading (specifically Levvo)  
> Here’s the Blackened Skies Discord Server. Go there.  
> https://discord.gg/bc86GSE


End file.
